William's reflection of the past. To Eric, a true
friend that I don't always understand
As a friend
I remember you used to be quiet, sitting by yourself.
I remember the first time we talk.
I remember the many times how stubborn you can be.
I remember how many times I want to punch you in the face.
I remember when we used to pray together during lunch - I don't pray anymore.
I remember the times we understand one another - and the times we don't
I remember sometimes fights brought us closer together - it still does.
I remember it was fun, lying on the bench in Miliken park, waiting for the
shootings stars. It was cold, but you were there.
I remember how much a pain I had been.
I remember how stubborn I can be, for what I think is good.
I remember how happy I was when PT was born.
I remember how bad I can make people feel at times. Stay away from my Bass!
I remember how much time we used to have toward our dream.
I remember that I used to be more ambitious about music.
I remember how much, as a friend, you have suffered from my bad tempers.
I remember how much I have expected from both of you, for us, for the band.
I remember how disapointed I was, even now.
I remember how sad it was when I lost my faith, my religion.
I remember how sad it was to see 911 happen.
I remember leaving the last band, and started this "band".
I remember hopeing, for a better end.
I remember how you used to teach us theory, and Camila.
I remember seeing other bands on stage and feel frustrated.
I remember how much I want to prove to myself and to everyone.
I remember wanting to prove to everyone that I have my own music to give.
I remember dreaming of a dream, oh stage, together.
I remember how I wish we can do that even for once.
I remember how our hands are put together for the first time, in the park.
An End? or a New beginning? You tell me.
This is what I wrote shortly after we changed our band name,
but never posted it until now becuase I am afraid that it might
向著自己的方向進發。 十年前我不知道我會入 OCAD 讀設計，
開玩笑說我讀完 Design 出來必定去當巴士司機。 因為曾經給
Polaris Tears （現改名為 Blueberry and Hazelnut）。
I am sorry that you have to write 1441 words to explain your feelings.
I am sorry that had only wrote 665 words, 4 am, and go to school later @ 7am.
I am sorry that I had shared with you my pressures.
I am sorry for all of the factors that slowed down progress.
I am sorry for the feelings toward you that I sometimes share, harshly.
I am sorry that I can't stop finding my dream, for anything.
I am sorry that we have different thoughts on what is more important.
I am sorry becuase of school we don't always see each other often enough.
I am sorry that you got a girlfriend and I don't (not yet).
I am sorry for the things I've said that hurt your feelings - the car stuff mostly.
I am sorry that life is tough, short, meaningless.
I am sorry that music might be the only way I can find meaning in life.
I am sorry for the world might be comming to an end in 2004.
I am sorry but I really want to leave something in this world for people to remember me about.
But I am happy, to hear that you have cried for our friendship. You still care.
I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PS. I would still like to create music together, not like that in the past,
but wholeheartedly. Tell me when it is possible for you to do so.
January 13, 2004